Riding Bareback
One of the ironies of parenting is that just as you think you know who your child is and what they can and can not do, they prove you wrong. I got this lesson yet again when Sabrina, my 9-year-old daughter with developmental delays, graduated from the basic therapeutic horseback riding center and started at a new barn.
The teacher was the same but the horses much younger and faster. Upon our arrival, the teacher L put my daughter and the horse, Shonie, in a pen to get to know each other. Now until this moment, Sabrina had been riding with a teacher and a side-walker who had the horse on a lead rope. And the horses were very old and very slow. This was new.
Sabrina petted the horse and then L had Sabrina put on the halter and lead her around the pen by herself. Again the contrast of barely being allowed to hold the end of the rope while an adult held the main rope at last week's lesson was amazing.
Together they put on reins and a pad but no saddle or stirrups. Sabrina got on (mostly on her own) and started riding this sweet mare around a small arena. She shifted and slipped and steered. She rode this pony like she had been riding all her life. No fear, no worries, she just took the reins and rode. She was in heaven. I was a bit in shock.
In that moment, I had to discard my beliefs about her riding a horse. This was the real thing-wild, big and powerful and in that moment I saw it in both Sabrina and her horse. The horse tried to do whatever Sabrina asked. Sabrina tried to figure out how to ask her to do what she wanted.
As I witnessed my daughter, I had to form a new picture of who she is and what she can do. In that moment, I saw a girl who loves horses and is completely capable of riding them. As she bounced on Shonie's back, she was not her disabilities; she was a girl learning to ride a horse.
The next week, she learned to put on a saddle and started trotting. She told us she wants to learn to jump and canter. And now I know she will. Sabrina is an equestrian.
Now it's my turn to learn how not to cringe when she falls off or put limits on her goals. Sabrina rides bareback, whether I can or not. This belongs to her.
The teacher was the same but the horses much younger and faster. Upon our arrival, the teacher L put my daughter and the horse, Shonie, in a pen to get to know each other. Now until this moment, Sabrina had been riding with a teacher and a side-walker who had the horse on a lead rope. And the horses were very old and very slow. This was new.
Sabrina petted the horse and then L had Sabrina put on the halter and lead her around the pen by herself. Again the contrast of barely being allowed to hold the end of the rope while an adult held the main rope at last week's lesson was amazing.
Together they put on reins and a pad but no saddle or stirrups. Sabrina got on (mostly on her own) and started riding this sweet mare around a small arena. She shifted and slipped and steered. She rode this pony like she had been riding all her life. No fear, no worries, she just took the reins and rode. She was in heaven. I was a bit in shock.
In that moment, I had to discard my beliefs about her riding a horse. This was the real thing-wild, big and powerful and in that moment I saw it in both Sabrina and her horse. The horse tried to do whatever Sabrina asked. Sabrina tried to figure out how to ask her to do what she wanted.
As I witnessed my daughter, I had to form a new picture of who she is and what she can do. In that moment, I saw a girl who loves horses and is completely capable of riding them. As she bounced on Shonie's back, she was not her disabilities; she was a girl learning to ride a horse.
The next week, she learned to put on a saddle and started trotting. She told us she wants to learn to jump and canter. And now I know she will. Sabrina is an equestrian.
Now it's my turn to learn how not to cringe when she falls off or put limits on her goals. Sabrina rides bareback, whether I can or not. This belongs to her.
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